LOLLY
* 'present' me here... I started writing this post towards the beginning of the year, I last edited it in May and finally am posting it now. Why? Because it's helpful to look back on what I was trying to accomplish and my word of the year has profoundly helped me through 2021. I hope this encourages you to chose a word for the upcoming year and provides some inspiration.
Here I will share my focus for 2021, the struggle I have with presenting myself and my technique that is helping me to achieve the things I fear. In striving to accomplish tasks and putting myself out there to be able to share my passion and inspire others, there are also moments of doubt and it's easy to get lost in a fog of 'have tos' and the dreaded imposter syndrome. I can be my own worst enemy and small self-sabotaging behaviours take place almost daily but I'm working on it!
Each year I pick one little word, as a guide and reminder of my intentions for the year. Usually I post this at the start of the year but, with time being so strange during lockdown, it's taken me until now to gather all of my thoughts into this post. Last year my word was 'clear' and despite it not having much of a chance (with most of the year spent at home) it has served me well. In actual fact maybe the events of 2020 gave me more focus, allowed for clearing stuff out and prioritising what really matters.
So this year my intent is to maintain that same clearness of thought and build on what I've started. All the little changes I've made and the drive that I have, will result in good things and a stronger, more confident me.
I am SUPER excited about all the projects I have in the works, good things are happening and I am putting all my effort into being me. Doing what I love. Not taking on more than I can handle and connecting my abilities with what I enjoy. For the most part, in my career, that is teaching. I have always been a teacher, it's what I do well, and I am thankful I have been able to teach online with CraftyMonkies. Reaching people in a different way felt so strange at first but it's amazing how intimate it is and it's wonderful seeing people create and learn from home. It's so easy for all of us and the live classes allow for amazing interaction. If you're interested in learning more, check out the list of classes or see the available playbacks.
It fills my cup to encourage others and share my passion for quilting and stitching. It's not always easy for me to get that point across without coming off like I'm doing a hard sell. Do I want people to take a class with me, do I think it has value, will people learn and create beautiful projects, do I want to sell my patterns... yes, yes, yes, yes! Yet every time I mention my patterns or classes I feel like a bad salesperson or that I'm bothering people or I don't even know what. It doesn't feel good. But here's the thing, if you're not into it or you don't want it you won't be interested. For those that do, all I am doing is sharing information and you can buy a pattern and take a class if you like. So it shouldn't be this hard for me. The anxiety gets to a ridiculous point and I battle through it because I love designing and teaching so much that I can't give up.
So I've been trying to come up with ways to make it easier, to be able to talk about my projects and share video of myself without cringing.
First I have been listening to music. Music that pumps me up, puts a smile on my face and gets my mind right. Funnily my last pattern release was inspired by a Gwen Stefani song and this track has been on repeat
That line 'I'm recycling me' led to a bit of an epiphany. I'd always wanted to get back my confidence, to lose the anxiety and go back to the 'old me'. Of course that's not possible, there's no way, but I can recycle. Save some bits, take the good stuff that's going on currently and mush it all into something else. Still myself, with everything I've experienced and learnt, still original just changed.
Maybe that doesn't make sense... this post is completely train-of-thought and leads to how I came to chose my word.
Secondly (and this is where it gets even weirder) I have created an alter-ego. Stay with me! For those times when I just cannot seem to counter the doubts in my head, when I have to make a video or call or try and market myself... I become 'Lolly'. Before you click away or think I've lost it completely, this was an idea my husband had - conceived when we were chatting about my anxiety and self-doubt. He said why don't you pretend to be someone else, still myself but with the drive of someone who has presence and confidence. So who would I be? Dolly Parton, every time! No excuses, no hiding. Dolly is herself, I mean she's the on stage /public version of herself but doesn't she do it with such grace and honesty. Like Beyonce has her Sasha Fierce persona (explained so well in that clip), it is a great way for me to overcome nerves and get it done. So Lolly is my Sasha Fierce. It's like acting, which I did a lot of when I was younger, and while I'm not pretending to be someone else - it allows me to be clear in what I'm presenting; the strong, confident and capable version of myself. My word for 2021 is lucidity - I like that it works with my name too! Light and clear.
Stay tuned because I have an exciting project coming up relating to the word of the year! Here are links to my words from previous years if you'd like to read more:
2020 ~ Clear
And ALWAYS channel Moira Rose, such wisdom!
A year in the making : The fruits of plenty
It took a year...
How it started...
How it's going...
Done!
It's not often I complete something in a year, my work in progress pile can attest to that! This stitch-a-long is the third one I've completed from Modern Folk Embroidery, obviously I highly recommend his patterns and this was a joy to stitch. It was lovely receiving the next part of the pattern each month and I've really enjoying seeing all the other versions as they've been stitched on instagram #MFESAL2021, so many interesting colour combinations. The pattern is The Fruits of Plenty. Also see my previous stitchings, Love Thy Neighbour - better pictures in progress here and Kindness & Fortitude - shows how different patterns can look depending on your choices.
This was the final part for the month of December, it was a little sad putting in those last stitches because it meant it was over but I'm so pleased with the finish.
My favourite floss is Aurifloss and I chose to use a peach and a terracota -ish colour for my project. The colours are Peach #2215 and Pumpkin Spice #2395. I stitched 2 over 2 on 32 count Belfast Linen in the colour Linen Pink - a pretty pale pink that is a nice warm background for the floss.
When I started stitching I used a Q-snap frame and a grime guard I made (details in this post) and while I do like working with a hoop or frame, I then discovered the sewing method and stitching in hand, from the lovely Kimberly and The Real Housewives of Cross Stitch. If you haven't tried it I would encourage you to watch their tutorial video, as it shows a couple of different options and plenty of tips. I believe this is how Jacob of Modern Folk Embroidery prefers to stitch too, so I'm in great company!
I do like using beeswax for conditioning the thread, it's not essential but it does smooth the floss and makes stitching (especially on linen) a little easier. I got the beeswax in the above picture from a local beekeeper, if you don't have a local source then there are some lovely sellers on Etsy, like Cobble and Hive.
In so many ways it is hard to believe a year has passed but then time has warped even more in the past couple of years, it feels like a lot of time has been lost. I recommend a stitch-a-long as a marker for time if you need one!! This was the half way point...
I now realise I don't have pictures of the back but trust me I got messier as I went along ;) I did start with good intentions and tried to keep the back as neat as possible but ultimately I don't really care what the back looks like and it can get frustrating. I would much prefer to stitch as I please and enjoy the process rather than care about the backside.
The pattern called for initials but rather than just add my own, I added my husband, myself and the first initials of our three children. I love it.
And just like that... 34613 crosses later, the pattern is complete.
This coming year I would like to get all my complete cross stitch projects framed and I very much look forward to having this beauty on display. Having said that before about previous pieces, I really need to make this happen!
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